Decaf Coffee

Time for a history lesson. I want to focus on what might possibly be the most senseless, hair-brained scheme of all time.

 

Yes. Even more outlandish than That '80s Show...

 

In 1903, Ludwig Roselius and Karl Wimmer (two Germans who were probably held back a few times during grade school) steamed coffee beans with salt water before using benzene as a solvent to successfully get rid of the caffeine.

For the life of me, I can’t see the value of Decaf Coffee… Maybe if coffee was naturally delicious, I could get it, but why would anyone want to experience one of the least appealing flavors on the planet if it didn’t significantly improve their ability to function before the sun comes up?

 

Need I say more?

 

Of course I know that not everyone can drink caffeinated coffee, but is it worth it?

I submit that it is not.

Let’s switch gears to finish things off. Imagine a common, civilized luxury. Imagine your city’s fire department. Now imagine instead of saving lives from white-hot, flaming catastrophes, firefighters just drove around in their noisy trucks to look good, stopping every once in a while to save a kitten from a tree. Imagine a fire department like that, one that only performed a minuscule fraction of their duties. Dumb, right? Right.

 

Get out of the way! We have to get to a calendar photo-shoot!!

 

Decaf coffee is a useless fire department.